Marriage is hard. That’s why counseling exists. It’s why marriage boot
camp reality TV shows exist. Heck, that’s why divorce exists. This is not news
to those of us who are married. We all know the first year, figuring out how to
share our lives, is really tough, and then the next year is tough, and so is
the next year, and also 5 years later is tough too. Being married means staying
together even while you both change, and that can be hard depending on how much
changing you do.
In the US, the divorce rate has been dropping recently. My generation is waiting to get married, for a variety of reasons, but that also means we’ve had a chance to figure out what we want and who we are before we commit to someone else. But even that doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage. Marriage is not the happily-ever-after fairy tale that Disney sold to us as children. Everything good in life takes work: pursuing dreams, raising kids, and marrying the person you love.
My husband and I have been together 13 years and married for 6. I’m not going to pretend we never disagree (especially on parenting decisions) and that we never fight (I’m the queen of verbal diarrhea and he’s more thoughtful but slower paced which makes for some interesting arguments). But we also care about each other deeply and we’re committed to us.
We both played video games our entire lives, so when we started dating, it was something that bonded us. I don’t necessarily think being gamers meant that our relationship was somehow magically destined for success. But even though being mutual gamers doesn’t guarantee perfection, there are definitely some reasons to fall in love with someone else who plays video games.
If you’re a gamer, here are the Top 5 reasons to marry a gamer.
A gamer understands getting sucked into a gaming vortex
When you get completely obsessed with that new release your significant
other is going to get it. They’ve done it too. So a few months ago when I
neeeeeeeeeeeeeded to play Subnautica, my amazing husband got it. He covered
chores and took my daughter outside to blow bubbles while I played for 30
minutes or so.
Doubles your collection
I am still partially convinced that my husband married me for my copy
of Earthbound. But, I married him for Shining Force 3. All’s fair in love and
video game collecting. To this day, we still argue over who owns which games
(because we’re old and we no longer remember). Divorce would be too messy at
this point. Not because of custody of our child, but because of ownership of
these games. There is no compromise.
Always knows the right charger/adaptor
There is nothing worse than being in the middle of a boss fight or a
cut-scene when the battery light starts flashing. If you have to yell, “Honey!
Bring me the black cord with the square block and the sort of pinched end,” you
never know what you’ll end up with. For me, all I have to say is “Oh no!
Charger!” and my SO (significant other, for those non-baby boarders) is already
darting down the stairs to grab the right cord. That’s love.
Can make recommendations
I listen to gaming podcasts and have my favorite websites. My husband listens
to other gaming podcasts and reads more reddit than reasonable. Between the two
of us, we are usually on top of all the games coming out, or ones that we missed.
We play a lot of indie games (right now, I’m playing Observation), and it was
my husband who recommended Don’t Starve and Slay the Spire to me, and they are
still two of my favorite games to play when I have time.
Quality time together is also gaming time
Okay, a big complaint I hear from people married to gamers is that
their significant other picks gaming over spending time with them. I do think
we all need to be careful that we are balancing relationships/work/chores/hobbies,
whether those are working out or gaming or knitting or writing. But a huge perk
of being with a fellow gamer is that all those hours logged in Fallout or
Breath of the Wild are done together, and totally count as dates.
And if you’re not a gamer, you definitely should still marry a gamer.
Yeah, maybe they will drive you crazy with their gaming, and you should
totally keep them in check but:
Gamers are determined
Gamers know what it means to grind (ohhhhhhh yeeeeeah). Okay, innuendo
jokes aside, if gamers are committed, they will go the extra mile to level up
their characters and develop those relationships. Find a gamer who plays Persona
or other games with social links. They will put in the extra time to make
Gamers understand devotion to interests
Just like my husband supports me when I want to game, if you marry a
gamer, they will understand when you get into whatever hobby you love. They will
support your nights out and your weekends crafting or knitting or hanging with
friends. Gamers get it and they’re going to support self-care.
Remember those shirts from a few years ago: “Mathematicians do it discretely.” “Librarians do it between the covers.” “Chemists do it periodically.”
There was also one for gamers: “Gamers do it all night.” But I came up with a few more options for gamers: “Gamers press all the right buttons.” “Gamers know how to grind.” Ha!
Beth lives in Georgia with her husband, toddler daughter, infant son, two cats, and basement full of video games. She has a full-time job and a crazy commute. Beth describes her parenting style as “instant oats mama.” She’s a crunchy mama who also appreciates modern conveniences. In her spare time, you’ll catch her playing exploration, simulation, survival, or puzzle games.